If there’s one thing I can tell you about the first three episodes of Britannia, is that I’m still not quite sure who I’m supposed to be rooting for here. Clearly it’s not the Romans, Antedia or Pellenor, but who exactly is the main character? Who can I get attached to, at least temporarily?
The answer so far has proven to be the women, and if this episode is to be believed, the most important of those is Cait – who is just too lucky to be JUST lucky, and who manages to both give it straight to Divis (seriously, dude, you’re too powerful to be wasting your time not knowing what you’re doing) and save her dad. So yes, let’s give Cait the crown for this episode, even if we’re not exactly sure how she earned it yet.
Just like we’re not sure about pretty much anything other than Kerra likes to make ill-advised decisions but has her heart in the right place, Pellenor is a dick, and no one has any earthly clue of what they’re doing. That, at times, feels like it includes the show.
Like, legitimately, someone explain to me the plot of this thing. Or even what I’m supposed to care about?

Is it a story about two tribes? A story about a conquering army? Is it about strong women? Druids? Dumb men?
What is this show about?
Three episodes into it, you’d think we’d have an idea, but all I have is more questions. Like, why did the druids refer to Aulus as “baby”? No, wait, do I actually want the answer to that? Do I want the answer to anything Veran is thinking or doing? Probably not. But I want some answers, so I’ll take those if the show is ready to provide.
With a short first season these three episodes end up being even bigger in the grand scheme of the story they’re trying to tell than they would be in a 10+ episode season. And yet, so far, all we’ve gotten is a hell of a lot of setup, a bunch of people who look like they could use a long bath, and female characters who look like they could be what we want them to be, if the show gave them the opportunity.
Let’s hope it does. Because at this point, I’m not sure why else I would stick around.
Things I think I think:
- But what are the druids smoking? Inquiring minds wants to know.
- Aulus surely knows.
- Sometimes it feels like all these people share a single brain cell, and there are times when no one is using it.
- King Pellenor certainly isn’t.
- The sexual tension between Lindon and Kerra is kind of fun, if uncomfortable.
- Like, ironic that Amena is looking at them like just talking is a sin, considering her ex-husband is walking around making eyes at her all the time.
- But also sleeping with Ania.
- The romantic entaglements are too entangled to keep up, and I’m not even sure if I want to, to be honest.
Britannia airs Sundays at 9/8c on Epix.