Welcome to A-Z Movie Reviews. Every Sunday, for the next several months, I will be posting a review of a film in my home movie collection. How it works is, I will be reviewing movies in alphabetical order until I get to the letter Z (Yes, I do have a film that ends in Z). Now I realize there are many ways to alphabetize a film collection, but this is mine so don’t judge me. This is simply for fun.
Okay, before I start this installment of A-Z Movie Reviews, let me just say, I know as soon as you looked at the title 5ive Girls, the first thing you said was “hey, that’s not a letter, that’s a number.” I get it but, like I said there are many ways to alphabetize. I know numbers generally go first but, I decided since this would spell out the word five which starts with the letter ‘f,’ I’m counting it.
Alrighty, let’s get into this one.
What it’s about:
Five wayward teenage girls are sent to a reformatory and discover they possess unique powers to battle the ancient demon, Legion, which holds thrall over the sinister institution.
As I have said many times, I watch a lot of really campy movies and I have one of my brothers to thank for this. He was the one who showed me that there are more than just mainstream movies out there. It’s what made me keep an open mind with film watching and basically how I ended up watching this one.
I can honestly say I don’t remember how I even stumbled on 5ive Girls. It may have just been one of those nights when you’re channel surfing and something catches your attention. The main reason I was probably drawn to it must have been because I’m a fan of The Craft and this kind of fit into that category for me since it was a group of girls with powers.
This is definitely nothing like The Craft though.
Unlike The Craft, 5ive Girls involves well, five girls and they are living at the Catholic school. All five girls have been sent to St. Marks School for Girls to be reformed. It’s not completely clear just what they are all being reformed for because there’s no backstory. One can only assume the main reason they were sent to the school by their parents was because of the powers they possess.
Connie (Tasha Quintas)
Connie is what’s known as a “conduit”, or a magnet for spiritual activity.
Leah (Barbara Mamabolo)
Leah can pass through objects however, she can’t pass through doors or walls which if you ask me doesn’t make a whole lot of sense at all. How can someone pass through objects but not doors or walls?
Cecilia (Terra Vnesa)
Cecilia is blind but she has the gift of “second sight” otherwise known as ESP.
Mara (Jordan Madley)
Mara who is my personal favorite because she’s a badass, can heal wounds. The only downside is, they have to be fresh wounds.
Alex (Jennifer Miller)
Alex has the power of telekinesis. She is the only one in the film that we see get dropped off by her parent. Her dad is the one who brings her to the school and the only thing he says is that the school is going to help her with her problem. Like I said earlier, I can only assume the problem he’s referring to is her power.
St. Marks is a very old school and it shows. The halls are dilapidated and the sleeping area is pretty shitty. The school was closed down for five years after Elizabeth (Krysta Carter), one of the students who was attacked by an unseen evil force vanished. It has now been reopened and the former teacher Father Drake (Ron Perlman) along with the bitchiest Headmistress ever, Miss Pearce (Amy Lalonde) are running it.
On their first day at the school, the girls are strictly warned to stay away from the third floor. That’s where Elizabeth was when she disappeared but of course they don’t know that. As all of these movies go, they eventually do go up to the third floor and because this is a scary movie, the results are not good.
Ultimately all of the girls learn there is more to the school than they imagined. It turns out they are part of a sacrifice that Miss Pearce is doing to bring Elizabeth back from the demon known as Legion. The reason Miss Pearce is trying to bring her back is because she’s her sister. The ritual she needs to perform is a sacrifice of five girls for one.
I really like this movie because it’s got a good plot and enough scares to keep you jumping however, there are a few issues I have with it. I feel like more could have been done with this story particularly with the girls and their backstories. There is no buildup and the mention of their powers sort of comes in at a weird time and it’s a little messy. It’s one of those things where you have to really pay attention or you’ll be like “wait what? they have powers? all of them?”
Speaking of powers, I feel like we didn’t see enough of the girls using them. Also, Alex has the power of telekinesis so why is she having visions of Elizabeth being possessed? wouldn’t that have made more sense for Cecilia since she has the power of second sight or even Connie since she’s a conduit? I don’t know that’s just how I would have done it.
My second issue was with the parents. We only see Alex get dropped off which is clearly because she’s the protagonist which I get but, I have questions. What did Alex do that made her dad take her to the school? how did the parents even hear about the school? it’s been closed for five years because a girl vanished. That’s the kind of news that would travel right? wouldn’t the parents and the girls have heard about that? If I had kids, I certainly would not want to drop my daughter off at a school where another one disappeared.
Then there is the matter of Legion literally jumping from one girl to the next. All five girls have powers but none of them are powerful enough to band together and fight Legion? it’s a little sad because I felt like that was a missed opportunity for this story. I would have loved this film more if the girls all got to stand together and defeat Legion and Miss Pearce. They spent the entire film running scared and uh, yeah, alot of them died which sucked. I’m not going to tell you which ones though because it was actually a big surprise to see who lived.
5ive Girls is an entertaining film and it will keep your attention. With all the missteps I still really love it. Do I wish certain things were done differently? absolutely but, If you want some campy horror, I recommend it.
Other Thoughts
- If the entrance to a place that is supposed to represent calm has the words “Abandon all hope ye who enter here,” it’s probably not a good sign.
- What is it with things going wrong at 3:00 in horror movies that involve demons? I don’t care if it’s 3:00pm or 3:00am, something evil always happens at 3:00. Don’t believe me, see The Excorsim of Emily Rose.
- Okay, while typing this about 3 o’clock I answered my own question and then I googled it so you can read the reason why here.
- Alex’s dad is a dick. He couldn’t even be bothered to walk her up to the school door to see it or even meet the staff.
- Father Drake had all four girls standing for two hours straight with their bibles until Alex came and then blamed her for it. How did she know he was going to do that? that wasn’t her issue.
- “Your parents don’t want you”? way to reform the girls Miss Pearce.
- I would never let Miss Pearce draw my blood with how rough and unsanitary she was. She didn’t wear gloves and she didn’t clean her hands between girls.
- Legions voice was a bit on the cheesy horror side for sure.
- If I was pulled into a pentagram for a ritual, once it was over and I made it out, my ass would be heading for the exit. Like seriously girls, you went to bed after that shit? what is wrong with you?
- Also, girls, girls, girls! if one of your classmates is demonically possessed, the ones who are not, need to stick together especially when one of those classmates is BLIND!
- It’s hard to watch Cecilia so helpless when Legion is beating her up because she can’t see to defend herself.
- When Alex told Mara to try not to hurt Cecilia when she was possessed, I was like “bitch please, she is trying to kill you.”
What do you say? Will you give this movie a chance?
5ive Girls is available to stream on Tubi.
