We’re almost there, lucifans! Lucifer 6×09 “Goodbye, Lucifer” is that episode where you can’t stop crying because the show is coming for your soul, to rip your heart out and you can’t help it to give them because the show just takes them away without asking. Time for review!
Here we go!
Lucifer 6×09 “Goodbye, Lucifer” begins with a fight. It is the day of Lucifer’s disappearance and that brings with it all the fears that Rory, Chloe and Lucifer have tried to suppress since they met. Lucifer doesn’t… see no options. What Rory says sounds logical. If he didn’t leave her, if nothing happened, she wouldn’t be there. That he left her seems like a fact but he never, he never would. He would always choose her, them. Always. He would have to be dead not to.
Chloe is the only one who thinks that everything is not decided. Why should it be? They have free will, nothing, absolutely nothing is set in stone, Lucifer just has to stay. Nothing more. There is no need to think about time loops, why, how … everything is much simpler than that: a decision. The decision to stay. Lucifer keeps saying that he would always choose them and that he would never decide to abandon them so… it is as simple as not do it.
Chloe is tired of her being the only one who believes in them when these crazy things happen. That she is the only one who believes in him. In the love that they have and in that holding hands, together, they will be able to overcome everything. And she is frustrated that Rory is just as stubborn as her father, like father like daughter, and they are both convinced that it will just happen no matter what, for Chloe, the two of them have given up before fighting and she can’t take it. She loves them but she hates when the two of them are so obtuse, when the two of them decide not to fight for their family.
The truth is that it is not that Rory or Lucifer don’t want to fight, it is that they see no way to do it. They don’t feel like they can change anything … and that is killing them.
The inevitability of what lies ahead makes Lucifer decide to say goodbye to his family. He has already left several times without saying goodbye, without telling them that he loves them. Let them know, it matters. Nothing can be left unsaid. Not this time. And yes, we couldn’t stop crying either.
Lucifer‘s 6×09 “Goodbye, Lucifer” first goodbye is for Linda. His guide, his confidant, his friend. She introduced him to this world of emotions, of lowering barriers… and she guided him every step of the way. With her, he learned to live and stop surviving, to stop seeing the world go by without participating in it, without living in it. She became a friend, she became family and that will never change. And I, I love that, I love that so much it hurts.
Ella… our Ella… she is beginning to forgive, to understand… and she just needed this. This apology from Lucifer, those eyes full of sincerity, recognizing that he never lied to her but hiding the truth from her, knowing that she never believed him when he told her what was happening, it is just the same and that she deserved much more. He screwed up a lot but always, always, always, he took her into account and was part of the family. She was always important to him, to everyone.
And Lucifer’s gift… that initiative. Is it normal to cry over a pencil? Lucifer knows Ella and knows that he loves what she does and that she hopes that future generations, that the girls and women of the future, can also see science and mathematics as she sees them. The hug between the two has been what has finished me off, a parallel with the first one that they gave each other, in which Ella simply threw herself into his arms and he didn’t know what to do because “he was not a hugging man”
And now, that “I’m not hugging” man embraces those he loves fully, without fear, without inhibitions, simply showing how important they are to him.
Maze… goddess Maze. I knew this was going to break me in two but I have broken into a thousand pieces because how not to do it? It is the first time that Lucifer acknowledges that she was never a servant to him, she was always much more, she was always his friend and he should have told her before, should have treated her as such before and not make her believe that she was just someone convenient, like any other servant, someone … replaceable. When she never was.
Maze can’t believe Lucifer is telling her all this, everything she always wanted to hear and she never thought to do. And she knows that Lucifer is sincere. She knows him. And precisely because she knows him she knows that he is not showing her everything that is going on. She knows that this goodbye is forever. She feels it in her bones. And she feels that she cannot do anything to stop him. Just… she can only give him something of hers: one of her knives.
That knife that can kill him, that knife that was always her consolation in the worst moments, her friend, an extension of her body, part of her. And she wants Lucifer to have that part of her, for her to be with him wherever he goes. Because that’s the connection they have, that friendship is like. It’s forever. Whatever happens.
But Lucifer doesn’t feel like it’s enough, not after everything that happened, not after he didn’t give him the place that she really has in his life. But for Maze he is forgotten. He brought her here, to earth, and there, she found her true home, at last she realized the meaning of that word and also found the meaning of love. She found herself and followed her own path and, most of all, she found what she always wanted and she never had: a family. A family that would not change for anything.
That is why she hugs him, strong, tight, without wanting it to end, without wanting to let him go. And so, knowing that they won’t see each other for a long time, maybe never, Maze says goodbye to Lucifer, she lets him go … and it’s like letting go a part of herself.
The looming cut-off time for Lucifer gives us the opportunity to see family moments that are so tender, so precious that they hurt and break us and it’s like our hearts are stabbed and we can’t stop crying. He realizes that the important thing is who you spend your time with. Thus, father and daughter spend time together for the first time, without forcing it, just because they both feel that way. Too much has happened not to.
And the beach day arrives. A day of just the three of them, in a world of just the three of them. Lucifer is clear that his choice will always be them. It’s everything… it’s everything that makes him happy. So, in his last day he wants to have time with Chloe and their daughter, with his family – I will never forget Lucifer’s look of pride and emotion when Chloe told him she was pregnant, I have it burned – so they pass quality time together.
But Lucifer believes her, he still doesn’t know why, but he knows that he abandoned her, he doesn’t question it and he knows how she feels. At last, Lucifer is thinking about her, about her feelings and is recognizing them as true. He can no longer avoid that look that was a reflection of his. He knows perfectly that anger not only with his father but with himself. That feeling of feeling unworthy of love because, if the person who is supposed to love you above all else, doesn’t, who could?
So you think there is something wrong with you, that you must be a monster for your own father to abandon you. But it is not like that, it is not her fault that he leaves, he does not know what will happen but he does know that. Lucifer is so sorry… he is sorry that he made her suffer, that he made her feel that way. But he’s going to fight tooth and nail, he’s going to fight with his life to stay, he’s going to fight for her. And that’s all Rory needed to hear. He always wanted this, for her father to fight for her, to show her that she cares, to show her that he loves her.
That little moment where Chloe, Lucifer and Rory are together and Lucifer’s arms are around baby Rory, hugging her is also a little moment of perfection. I wish time would freeze, I wish they were always like this. I wish this was the end. In fact, it’s official, this is our end. We don’t recognize the last minutes of the next episode. This is our end. Emotional, beautiful… perfect.
So Rory decides to leave. She, like us, prefers to keep that moment full of love on her retina, on fire in her mind. That perfect moment in which she felt completely embraced and loved by her parents.
Later, already in the panic room, the way Deckerstar just feel. There are no words, Lucifer tries to tell her everything, everything she meant to him, everything she means, tries to tell her that she is his soul, his heart, his everything … but Chloe just can’t hear him because that would make it real, inevitable and simply she couldn’t bear it, it would make her fall to her knees and break into a thousand pieces. Saying goodbye to Lucifer again is something, it is something she can never do again. That is why she asks him, pleads him, to stay with her. There, right there, right at that moment.
Lucifer does. Without words, just what they feel, just a touch, just feeling. This moment is delicate, sweet, beautiful… and incredibly sad at the same time. It is almost an inevitable farewell. His eyes connect, they don’t look away from each other in fear, afraid that even if they blink, all of this, them, might disappear. And that is enough. That incredible connection is so pure … their souls touch here and you can feel it through the screen. You can feel it so much that it gives you chills.
And so, the night passes and just when Chloe and us are about to jump for joy, the bad news arrives …
Going back to the beginning of Lucifer 6×09 “Goodbye, Lucifer”, Lucifer must confess to Amenadiel that after all, he does not want to be god. And everything turns out as we expected: horribly wrong. Amenadiel cannot believe it, after so much effort to be one, after so much struggle because others will accept him and consider him worthy, that he considered himself worthy, after the war, Remiel’s murder … Lucifer tells him this. He backs down and Amenadiel feels that it was all in vain. They went to a war and his sister died… for nothing.
And Amenadiel is disappointed in Lucifer, as disappointed as he has not been in a long time. It’s like … it’s like Lucifer hasn’t changed and continues to be the same selfish man as always, guided by whims that he does what he wants regardless of the consequences. He thought Lucifer had changed … and he was not wrong.
It is precisely because of this change that Lucifer must be true to himself. He would not be a good God and he cannot condemn the world and himself to something like that. The consequences would be more horrible than leaving everything now.
But then comes the million dollar question, now what? Because angels need a God to stop doing what they are doing, humans need a God but if it’s not Lucifer … who? Amenadiel believes that this is a fleeting thing in Lucifer, he is simply too attached to the earth, it became his home and leaving right now is… too hard. But talking to Chloe he realizes that it is more than homesickness. It’s … he’s not the one.
And it is she who gives him the idea, why not him? It seems… natural, almost… destined. And he could reconcile it with his life on earth, with his family. He could change the rules. The only thing holding him back is the fight against racism in the police, the crusade of Sonya, Chloe and him. But, if he is God he can… he can help a lot more than if he is not.
Suddenly, everything is so clear … and he must go tell Lucifer, he knows that he was unfair to him and that his brother deserves to be happy with whatever he decides to be. And this scene between them breaks us down and we’re not ashamed. Amenadiel has so much faith in Lucifer … he knows that he is going to solve it, that he will discover what his destiny is. He started this story doubting Lucifer and in this episode his doubts came back but he understands how wrong he was… and I love him for that.
But he also notices that something is wrong with him. Lucifer is not as usual and only a person who knows you so much could know it. And this moment, this moment in which Lucifer says goodbye to his brother… it’s heartbreaking, and precious and tender and horribly sad at the same time.
Lucifer and Amenadiel began as enemies, Amenadiel did not respect Lucifer, he seemed like someone selfish who did not weigh the consequences of his actions because he did not care and Lucifer believed that Amenadiel was his father’s lapdog, his favorite son, the son that his father did love.
And now … now they both had the opportunity to meet, to love, to respect each other. And Lucifer is glad to have had this opportunity, to have shared everything that has happened with Amenadiel. Lucifer always envied that he was the favorite of his father and a large part of him wanted to be like Amenadiel, that was straight, that was correct, that… good. He was always his favorite but he never really knew him until the two of them met on earth. I’m super proud of them. And I need a bucket for my tears.
In Lucifer 6×09 “Goodbye, Lucifer” Dan finally explores the root of his guilt: his murder. He knows it has to do with him, but why? The answer comes soon from the hand of Lucifer: Trixie. Lucifer, for a change, gives him some good advice. The importance of who you share your final hours with is vital. Is the answer. His guilt is not having been with Trixie and not being a good example for her.
Dan is aware of all the mistakes he made. He may have forgiven himself for them but he never forgave himself that Trixie had to see this from him, the worst in him. A big part of the change in him, why he wanted to be a better man was because of Trixie, it was so that she would look at him with pride and feel proud of his father but he feels that he did not get it.
What Dan doesn’t realize here is that Trixie is proud of him precisely for having seen those ugliest parts of him, the worst of him, his mistakes. Because she saw how he fought to be someone better, how he learned from his mistakes. Trixie doesn’t need a perfect role model father, she needs a father, just a father to show her that in life, mistakes are inevitable and what matters is what we learn from them. For showing her this, for teaching her, is why he was the best father she could have.
That is why she knows that he will always accompany her, even if she cannot see him or is not physically there. Because she doesn’t need to see him to feel him, to reflect on his teachings, to remember him.
I was… very emotional that Trixie is the one to tell him this. It must not have been easy for her to go through all this and realize that her father is a human being who makes mistakes and be proud of how her father fought to be better and fix those mistakes. When we are children, our parents are our heroes and we consider them almost perfect, it takes a lot of courage and maturity to realize that this is not the case and to feel that her father is her hero precisely because of that: because he is not perfect. A bucket for tears is too short …
At last, Dan faces his guilt and realizes that he shouldn’t feel like this, Trixie is incredibly strong, brave and mature. She will be alright. This makes the sky open up for Dan, literally and it was about damn time. Dan deserves this, he is happy in heaven, one of Lucifer’s most human characters, perhaps the one with the most flaws but, like Trixie, we love him precisely for that.
But happiness almost always lasts too short in Lucifer. For Dan to go up to heaven means that his murderer returns … and he is free. He now knows Lucifer’s weak point: Rory and just what to do to get back at him. And this is it. Here it is. This is why Lucifer disappears. Because he will always choose Chloe and their daughter, he will always choose them… even if it means he has to die.
And here ends our Lucifer 6×09 “Goodbye, Lucifer” review. We will be back tomorrow with the last one!