The best advice that I have ever received is to be careful of men. I know that they aren’t all bad, but I do know that there are some that are looking for a trophy on their arm. They don’t care about anything but winning. They don’t care about anything but being on top.
And yes, I know that it can be there other way around too. Women can be the ones looking for that. But we’re talking about Shadow & Bone here and Alina isn’t looking for a trophy or to be one.
Hell, she never asked for or wanted any of this.
But it’s hers. This life is hers and she doesn’t want to be anyone’s captive. She doesn’t want to be a pawn. All she ever wanted was to never be separated from Mal. She wanted to feel loved and be happy. She JUST wanted to be okay.
But General Kirigan is making sure that she’s not going to have what she wants. Because for him, Alina is a prize. She’s not though. She’s a human being who has had the worst of things happen to her, but she’s persevered.
And if there is one thing that I believe – she will continue to do just that.
HOW THE FOLD WAS MADE
Man, love and lust are a bitch. And I think one of the worst things is when that love or lust is centered around power. But then again, doesn’t the lust for power start with something else.
I love a good flashback, but what I have realized is I prefer Ben Barnes with a beard. Like give me scruff. I need it.
Aleksander is riding to meet his healer. The soldiers are coming and Grishas are being hunted. You can see that he cares and you can see that he wants to protect her. She’s saying that she could live a long life with an amplifier, but like not the time for that talk honey. The soldiers are there.
What I do love about Aleksander is that he always has a plan. You can’t be mad that I love me some preparedness. He tells her that they are going to do some plan that they have done before and I have to say I am impressed. He goes outside and confronts the army, who want to take him into the king. They keep shooting him full of arrows but his healer is inside and making sure that he survives.
You know it’s all going well until one of the soldiers captures her and this is a problem. The soldiers don’t need her – the king didn’t ask for her – and so they are ready to do what they need to do in order to hurt the Darkling.
And what they do is kill her.
I am not shocked that he goes ape shit and unleashes his wrath. I am kinda applauding it cause I hate the soldiers for the way they are acting. But I also hate the Darkling. So… you know. What’s a girl to do? I tell you – this show is fucking me up.
Aleksander obviously cares about this girl, because he rides with her and tries to get her to a healer. Only she’s the only healer around. She’s lost, because of him and he feels it. And so who does he go to for comfort? His Mom. But his Mom is going to tell him like it is and it doesn’t matter if he wants to hear it.
The King is afraid of him and is going to make an example of him. It’s because of the fear that he has put out there that the King wants to make an example of him. He is definitely upset because of the death, and she’s giving him no comfort. Memo to myself – Baghra’s not a Mama that comforts well.
She says that others have died because they aren’t as strong as him and her. She taught him to kill. She said so she could protect themselves, but he’s not going to take her shit. He’s going to remind her of all the bad things. He won’t listen.
Aleksander is a stubborn dick, but he is loyal. Sure, of course to himself first, but he does want to make sure the Grisha are taken care of. And for a second, I am falling for his shit. But it takes a second for me to realize that he cares only about himself first.
And that’s when he decides to take on more magic than his body can handle. His Mama tries to warn him, and when he finds the way to take it on, you just know that something bad is coming. But one has to wonder – was it love or lust for power that made him turn that way?
I think it’s both. And also a love of being Grisha – but even then he takes it to the extreme. He knows that he is going to have to face all of the things, but he is going to do that with the evil that he just let in.
Somehow I think that he was fascinated with evil, that when he was able to take on more power, to him it felt as though he was invincible. When he faces the soldiers, he walks out with big dick energy, the kind that is like actually like damn, I don’t want to fuck with him.
But that big dick energy comes across as small dick energy when he screams and out of him comes such dark energy that can’t be denied. He’s able to escape the fold, with his Mama on his back. She was completely right when she said that he wouldn’t be able to control it.
But he’s proud and when she asks what he’s done, he simply tells her that he made something.
I wanted to like a lot of people in this show, but what I have learned is that you can’t trust anyone and everyone is a shady bitch. Ya, I am looking at you David.
With his help, Kirigan is able to know that he’s close to Alina. This is not a good thing and I am wondering what part of David made him think that telling Kirigan this was a positive thing? Are you just as evil? Why is everyone looking blindly at this man?
Mal and Alina bundled together is everything that I didn’t know I needed, but I needed it. I love staring at these two and knowing that I have an end game. Also that he’s willing to try and understand what she’s going through without judging her.
She tells him that she needs to be the one to kill the stag, and I love that he makes fun of her. It’s cute. But it shows the deepness of their relationship. It’s not about what’s on the surface, it’s about accepting each other no matter what happens.
And he doesn’t question it. When they see the stag, he hands her the gun and there is something about the stag that she knows she needs to get close to it. I want to believe that it’s that simple, but the hesitation that happens never ends in something good.
When Alina and the stag walk towards each other I couldn’t help but smile. Why? Because I see hope. Alina is hope. She is light. She can change everything. But of course, General Asshole and his need to control everything and have everything for himself comes to destroy the day.
He wants the stag so that he can live longer and have more power. And for a second, Alina is able to protect the stag. But Mal has been hurt and so has the stag, and she makes the choice to get Mal the help he needs. Because that’s what you do when you love someone, even when they tell you not to.
I appreciate that Kirigan says that he’ll have the healers heal Mal, but I hate that I know he’s only doing it to regain control. I hate that he’s not about making things better, he’s about making things worse.
He wants control, and that’s it. And he proves it at the camp.
Because here’s the thing, when he gets back to the camp, he has David help him steal Alina’s powers. He gains control over them and doesn’t care about what he takes from her. He wants her to see him as vulnerable man that wants to make a difference, but he’s not. And the things that he is doing proves that he doesn’t care.
He tells her that together they can end all wars and protect their own. She asks if they are destroying the fold. He puts out his hands and says they can do anything together. He looks back at her as David initiates taking her power. But the stags pieces are forged into both of them. SHE HAS ANTLERS COMING OUT HER SHOULDERS. I would fucking kill him for that shit. He’s a power hungry bitch.
Life is the worst when you realize that you can’t trust anyone. And Alina’s whole world is unraveling and she’s realizing that she can’t trust anyone.
She’s got literal horns coming out of her shoulders. And as if that couldn’t be enough, the hits are about to keep on coming.
Genya is at the camp and tells her that the palace hasn’t been the same place without her. The King is ill, the Queen is locked away so she doesn’t get sick…
And it all hits Alina. She can’t trust anyone and if anything Genya was a spy for Kirigan. Genya admits to it, and Alina’s a good person, because she didn’t smack a bitch in the face like I would have. Damnit, I liked her. But now I don’t.
I am a person that is big on loyalty and when you break loyalty, I am not a person that has a lot of forgiveness to give. I think that when and if you betray someones loyalty it is not redeemable. It’s not something that I can forgive.
I do understand that Genya said that she had no choice, she was a Grisha without a color and a whipping girl for the queen. She couldn’t choose friendship over survival. Alina is like that’s not an excuse and Alina is right.
She didn’t send Alina’s letters. She didn’t respect her friend. She made her believe that she was alone,. Genya waited for years at her chance for revenge against the King and she never expected it to come to this. Wouldn’t Alina have done the same? No. I don’t believe she would have. Sure the King deserved her vengeance but Kirigan doesn’t deserve Genya’s loyalty and I hope she learns quickly that she is a pawn in his game.
Kirigan is like a dog, he needs to piss on his territory and I think that he’s jealous to a point that Alina didn’t choose him. So he wants to mark his territory and tell Mal that he won’t be eternal, that Alina will forgive him. But Mal ain’t taking his shit and lets him know that he doesn’t have a chance.
Kirigan is a little way too cocky and that will one day be his downfall. He admits to Mal that he’s read all the letters they sent and tells him that he never appreciated who Alina is. But I would say that is completely wrong. Mal appreciated who Alina was as a person. He knew that she would be there for him, but what mattered was that he was there for her. He knew who she was as a person, and the rest didn’t matter.
It laid the foundation for real appreciation. And that takes time.
Kirigan will one day wish that he killed Mal, but I think that Mal should be happy with the knowledge that he lives rent free in Kirigans head. And hey, that’s a power not many of us have.
He is manipulative. He is a liar. He knows that Alina isn’t going to put up with much, but does believe he has the patience to wait it out. However, I am not sure that she will ever forgive him – being as SHE HAS ANTLERS now. That and he’s a pathological liar. She confronts him on all the things that she knows and he still has lies and excuses. Part of me believes that he believes the lies he tells.
Alina isn’t afraid to call him out anything. Half a story isn’t the same as lies, he says, but in my opinion lies are lies and a lie of omission is just as bad.
She calls him out about the King and he has an excuse – continuing to serve the king would make him a traitor. He thought that she would understand that everything that he’s done has been for Grisha. She asks if he thought Genya was safe when he placed her under the king’s watch. Is she to believe he’ll show Baghra mercy?
Alina was never given choices. He says perhaps but she has given him a chance to make amends. She says he put this coller on her to exploit her power for his gain. He says it was for us. To help us – to conquer the fold. The two of them. He says they can’t do it alone – Alina says he could have made her his equal and instead she made her this. He doesn’t care who suffers as long as he wins.
He tells her that she can “make me your villain” but honestly, he did that all on his own. And he knows it.
But right now Kirigan is in control and it’s not a great thing. He takes her onto the skiv and has her chained at her feet. In order to distract people from that, he takes off her cape and exposes the fact that she’s got the antler collar.
IT’S TIME TO GO HOME
The Crows don’t have much left and Kaz knows that they need to go home. Inej isn’t ready to go back, especially if she’s put in the situation that she has to go to the menagerie. She’s stitching herself together and expects at this point to say goodbye. She doesn’t want to go back and I think if anything – Jesper and Kaz would never let that happen to her.
The thing about The Crows is that they stick together and yes, they have issues, but they have each other and their love for eachother means more.
Inej has been through a lot and she doesn’t really have anyone that can understand that completely. But Kaz, he wants to understand. He wants to let her in – you can see it in his eyes. But in the same breathe, he doesn’t know how to be vulnerable.
So he does his best to give her a sign that he is trying. She starts to walk off, he says she was right. She asks about what. He says she was right about the Sun Summoner and that she’s real. She sits down and listens to him. The light was hers. So Inej asks him if he believes in saints and he gets so defensive and I am like dude, you are taking two steps forward, don’t take 10 back.
She asks what he believes in. He says myself and you and Jesper – his Crows. Because they flock to his bidding?
“Crows don’t just remember the faces of people who wronged them. They also remember those who were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for. No Saint ever watched over me. Not like you have.”
Inej says she can’t go back to the menagerie. He says she won’t and for the first time I believe everything that he is saying.
They just want to go home. But trying to make it back, the train explodes before they can get to it and that means they are going to have to find a new way home.
And the only way back is going to be on a skiv with the General and all the dignitaries. Probably not smart, but at the same point – it is dark in The Fold, so it could work.
Whatever happens next, I just know that these three need to make it through.
No mourners. No funerals.